Which Love Language Suits You and Your Partner? | World of Psychology

The Five Love Languages argues that people express love in different ways, and people feel loved in different ways. These five types of expression and perception are the five “love languages.” According to Chapman, people feel loved when a partner expresses love in the language that is natural to the recipient. If love is expressed in a different language, that message of love isn’t received.

The five “languages” are:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Quality Time
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Acts of Service
  5. Physical Touch (not the same as sex)

For more information about counseling and psychology, check out my site at RMarcAndrews.com

The Year in Gratitude: Introducing the Virtual Gratitude Visit | World of Psychology

The research on gratitude keeps demonstrating how powerful a positive intervention of having gratitude in our lives can be.  To acknowledge someone for being in your life is one of the most dynamic ways to increase your well-being and the well-being of others.  This exercise works best if you write it down, and even better if you can deliver a letter of gratitude to the person involved.  Here’s how it works.

For more information about counseling and psychology, check out my site at RMarcAndrews.com

7 Ways to Let Go | World of Psychology

You may be grieving the death of a loved one, or the end of a friendship you had hoped would be more, or merely the realization that your father will never be able to give you what you need from that relationship. It seems as though every moment of this life is about letting go, of something or someone that is renting far too much space in our heads.

1) Live in the present
2) Trust the process
3) Expect regression
4) Lose control
5) Make room
6) Break up the pain
7) Identify false belief

For more information about counseling and psychology, check out my site at RMarcAndrews.com

9 Tips for Setting Authentic New Year’s Resolutions | World of Psychology

One of the biggest reasons so many of us hold disdain for New Year’s resolutions or abandon our original goals come February is because we tend to pick goals that aren’t meaningful to us.

Try these 9 tips
1) Determine why you’re choosing your goal
2) Consider if the resolution is kind and loving
3) Consider if your goal is focused on the destination or the journey
4) Pick unexpressed values for your goals
5) Avoid rigid, restrictive goals
6) Keep your goals open and broad
7) Tune into your body
8) Satisfy your true hungers
9) Remember that resolutions are optional

For more information about counseling and psychology, check out my site at RMarcAndrews.com

The Neuroscience of ‘Genuine’ Love – And What Love Quotes Say! | Neuroscience and Relationships

Top athletes know there’s truth in the, ‘no pain, no gain‘ cliche. Similarly, partners in healthy, strong relationships recognize love is a daily discipline, replete with exercises, that keep their hearts and minds supple and strong.

For more information about counseling and psychology, check out my site at RMarcAndrews.com

20 Ways to Amp Up The Love (Boost Oxytocin Naturally) In Your Couple Relationship | Neuroscience and Relationships

To naturally energize feelings of love and safety between you and your partner, here’s a list off 20 actions that, essentially, amp up the love by amping up one another’s sense of safety in the relationship.

  1. Show interest in what your partner says by pausing to make eye contact, drawing near to listen.
  2. Physically touch your partner before you get out of bed in the morning.
  3. Express nonsexual affection with hugs, touching, holding hands, embracing, and the like.
  4. Give a 20-second hug to your partner, at mutually agreed upon times, such as before leaving for work.
  5. Talk about a trait you appreciate about your partner when both of you are present with family.
  6. Send an “I’m thinking of you” message via email or text at least once during work hours.
  7. Say one thing you admire about your partner, when they are not present, to a family member(s).
  8. Give your partner a 5- or 10-second kiss at least once each day.
  9. Look warmly into your partner’s eyes for a few seconds before and after a kiss.
  10. Express something you appreciate about your partner, when they are not present, to a friend(s).
  11. Tenderly touch your partner before you turn to go to sleep.
  12. Say something you appreciate about the other when both of you are present with friends.
  13. Massage your partner’s feet and look warmly into their their eyes (take turns).
  14. Listen empathically when your partner vents without giving advice, and validate their feelings.
  15. Affirm your partner’s love-actions with statements as, “I love when you express your love by …”
  16. Tell your partner what you love about their physical appearance with a warm smile, eye contact and touch.
  17. Find humor in something that would normally be a frustration for you, and make one another laugh instead.
  18. Smile warmly at one another in key moments, locking eyes for 5 seconds.
  19. Ask positive momentum questions, ones that start with, “Isn’t it wonderful that … ?”
  20. Express awe for something you love about life with enthusiasm with, “I love that … how about you?”

For more information about counseling and psychology, check out my site at RMarcAndrews.com

A mindful holiday

As the holiday season approaches, here are a few mindful tips from MARC:
 
1. Remember to pause
Bring more enjoyment to the holiday frenzy with moments of stillness. This can mean taking a mindful breath when you're most frazzled or being extra vigilant to keep your daily mindfulness practice alive this month. Or attend a retreat (like our
Dec. 10 Day of Mindfulness)- a great escape from holiday madness. 

 

2. Connect with others
One of the greatest gifts you can give another person is your presence. Make a commitment to listen wholeheartedly - without interrupting - to a loved one this holiday season.

3. Supplement presents with presence
In the spirit of connecting- do we need another "thing" or might we consider other ways of giving gifts? Try the gift of spending  quality time through an experience rather than an item, or volunteer with your whole family.

4. Be gentle with yourself
 Remember, "Under stress we regress." So if you see yourself acting like a teenager when visiting family for the holidays, take a breath, relax, and know whatever is happening now will likely change. Forgive yourself to the best of your ability.

5. Practice gratitude.
Research show that happy people are more connected to gratitude. Make a gratitude list or spend five minutes in meditation reflecting on what you are grateful for.

Have a happy, mindful holiday 
UCLA Mindful Awareness Research Center

"Growth can stem from the most surprising places"

R. M. Andrews & Associates LLC
Marc Andrews LCSW, DCSW, MS
President Elect, National Association of Social Workers Oregon
Counseling & Clinical Supervision

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P: 503-583-2037

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